my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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