OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
the day after is always just damage control
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
