I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
