If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We left the knife in your bed.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
