Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
