Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
