Sponge bath it is.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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