Kiss
Puke
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
