mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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