Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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