Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize