Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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