My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize