): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
