Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Btw I puked in your glovebox
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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