You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
