Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
