I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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