The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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