you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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