her vagine was all disorganized.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
