So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
