So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
