Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize