"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
