I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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