I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
