we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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