There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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