I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
