When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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