He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
