ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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