Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
