I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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