Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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