Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize