normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
