White coat. Heels.
i permit you to call me
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize