His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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