Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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