I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
