saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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