a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
