I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
