It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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