I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
