Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
