i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
