I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
