we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
They are going to name an STD after you.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize