SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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