Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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