Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
