She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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