I am midnight drunk by noon
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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