There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It's shark week go big or go home
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
