We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Help. Why am I so naked?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
