i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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