hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
