In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
