chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
