just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I need a burrito and a hug.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
