Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
