Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
