i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize