when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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