this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
