I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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